A statement of the obvious : The future is very indicative of what is to come.

patiently inside it waits
hiding from those that seek it
regardless of its deception it will be found
it's had nothing to do but store energy
like a muscle begging to be used
the pent up power just ready to explode
the source emanates from within
only the external will benefit
time has passed with varying speeds
pulses of anticipation grinds life to a halt

I remember one summer up at my house in Newmarket, I was sitting out in the yard after some swimming. Kind of drying off, kinda... tanning. More so just enjoying a day. Where it is just comfortable and things just feel right. I sat there, and just stared at a tree, full bloom, and standing strong in the forest behind the house. I just sat there and imagined its life, sapling to now. How the trunk was slightly off to the right, relative to my position. Must have been the years of winds coming down the 600 meter driveway, and curling to the right, possibly reinforced by a vortex effect. How there was that one summer, where little water was to be found, except to the one side of the tree, so the roots are that much stronger where the ground was wet that year. Intelligent trees? Nah, they just go where they need to. See how all the leaves are kinda leaning to one way this time of year? The sun has been coming day after day in the same route, and those leaves align themselves to be in the sweet spot. If you slowly let yourself sink into the idea of the tree, you can see it almost breathe. Of course it doesn't gasp in air and spew it back out, but there is a subtle pattern that emerges from the wind passing through the branches. The chaos of the world enforcing itself onto the tree, and the tree shows you the order that it makes of it. Look at someone, you can see the tree in them. See the branches, the way the chaos has effected their order. See the way a tree branch has been weighed down by the yearly nesting of a family of robins, the way a friend weighs down your heart when the continually come to you for a warm hug. The weight may be excessive enough to inflict change, but the tree stands tall and strong, and just may bend a branch so the leaves can catch that much more sun, and make the tree live on stronger. I love metaphors, don't you?

Yes, i'm writing these all on the fly. I know, lots to read in a short time span. Shooosh.... if you want to complain, talk to the author, aka,

The city is full of you all. Take the time to see it when you are among the population again. You see that old man there? Can you see his beauty? Take a few minutes and just look at the age. Look at his nose and how the lines surrounding his nostrils have developed over the years from him scrunching his nose when someone compliments him on how kind he is. How his hands are weathered from the daily abuse he puts them through, for the tasks that are required of them, are far greater of importance than the hands condition. That twenty something girl, half way to figuring out the life she has lead, and comparing it to the life she assumes she'll lead. Discovering those new wrinkles from the reactions she makes to the people around her. The excessive time she spends outside because she enjoys the outdoors, has make her eyes squint so often that character has built up around them and made the evidence of fun in the sun. Take a look at their shoes, can you see a similarity in their facial demeanor? See the hidden grimace on that corporate attire worn out soon to be daddy? Look at his shoes and see the things that are uncovered. Look at the way he holds his body and feel the things that are under. See how the top toe of that persons suede shoes are worn out a little? Slowly with age the fade from the front to the mid section of the shoe, you can see that the look of the shoe means nothing to their function. There are so many beautiful people that surround you each day. Sure, their beauty may be outward, but if you take time to notice the subtle nuances of their posture, shifts in their position, folds in their pant legs, arrangement of stands of hair, you'll see their personality slowly expose to the world, and see yourself understand a glimpse of you.

Ever say something that you think is going to get questioned, and not care either way if someone likes or dislikes the words that come from your mind? Try it some time, you'll be amazed at how unpredictable your brain is. Funny thing is, it is usually right.

I understand now. The pieces have fallen into place. There is a sense that you don't use all that often, but you can feel it every day. I used it like they were my eyes. A naitive use of the sense that hides from perception. I hate to make it an analogy but it will come across wrong, however it is the only way to explain. Like in the Matrix, he just knew the world around him, and could manipulate it to his will without thinking, he just felt what he wanted. I could see the wind before it curled around my face. Hear the thoughts of a persons words before they were spoken as they walked past me from behind. Assume an incomprehensible purpose to the tiniest insigificant object, and watch its reason for being unfold before my eyes and turn my assumption into fact. Silently I sat there, just looking at everyone in wonderment, that they don't even understand themselves. They billow with amazing creativity, even just sitting there doing nothing. I think I get it now.

The train lulls side to side, a scattering of riders litters the seats. Only a father and his little girl are standing by the doors, waiting for them to open so they can get home safely. She's so excited, that new stuffed doll. Unlikely that she knows what kind of monkey it is. Arangotang, Chimpanzee, "Damn Dirty Ape"; does it matter to her? Not really. Her father must have bought it for her, she keeps on looking at the monkey, then back at dad.Good thing pops is making her happy, so young, she doesn't need to realize how degraded the mature world is. No, not just yet.

The doors to the subway open, time for everyone to file out of the sardine can and shuffle mindlessly up a patterned path to their exit. Only the family and a man in his latter years of life get off the subway at this stop, and they all venture to the nature above. Hopping on the escalator, the little girl drops her new found enjoyment, and can't reach it in time to save it from falling over the escalator ledge.

The elderly man, with his slow monotonous pace was right where he was meant to be, steps before the place where the monkey lay. Picking it up to escort it to its owner, he looks at the little girl as his tired muscles carry him, and the monkey up the moving stairs. Getting down on one knee, he looks at the tiny one, anticipating the return of a loved one, glances at the father and looks back at the child.

"I believe this is yours?"

She nods.

"You like this little guy eh?" He looks at the monkey, looks at her for a reaction.

She nods.

"Can I share something with you? A piece of knowledge I got when I was your age?"

She looks at dad. Dad, confused, but sure the man is safe, nods back that it’s ok. She smiles at dad, then kinda smirks at the man, how he said 'when i was your age', then nods.

"I had someone like this, someone I cared for. Kinda scraggly like your little guy is. He is a guy right?"

She nods, and kinda smiles.

"You see, you almost lost him, and I did lose mine....."

He looks at the doll with an envious sight, almost comforting to him that someone appreciates the doll the way she does.

"....and I'd be saddened if you lost yours...."

He hands it back to her now, he watches her grasp it like they were apart for a lifetime.

"....the thing is, I'm sure you love him terribly so, he looks new too. I bet you have some other little bundles of love back home..." She nods before the statement is finished, as she had anticipated the end of the thought. He blinks in acknowledgement. "...and I bet you don't want to lose any of them. The thing is, you will, but it's not a bad thing."

She's wears a face of dismay, with the expected unhappy turn to the old mans advice.

"I want you to keep this guy, forever. Be careful when you take him out, try to keep him safe at home. Love him as much as you can, but not too much. You see, you'll lose other toys, other loved things, and it'll hurt for a bit, but you loved them. That’s the thing you have to remember. You did love them. Over time, this little guy...." He gestures at the monkeys fuzzy white head. "... will probably not mean as much to your feelings, but he'll still mean a lot. Other things will mean more to you, people, things you do and create."
-----
Suddenly, she shakes her head, left to right, like a bee that she’s afraid of is around her head, and her hands are tied.

"Honey? You ok? You just zoned out there for a second."

She looks up at dad.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Dad, thanks for the monkey, I like him lots."

Dad puts his hand out to hold hers, she accepts.

"Sure, he is quite the cutie eh?"

Slowly, with a saunter of tired bones, and a worn soul, the old man sits down and waits for the next monkey to fall.

Now how cool is this. One of the most amazing people in history (in my eyes) drew up a bridge in oh, about 1502, and now, just shy of 500 years later, buddy's bridge gets built! Now if you haven't caught on yet, it was Leonardo DaVinci who drew up the bridge, and the Norwegian Leonardo Project was the group of peeps that built it.

Yes, and a happy Halloween to you too. :) Everyone is saying it today, yet I haven't seen one pumpkin! Possibly because I was not out and about during 'Halloween time'. The 7pm - 8:45pm time frame (relative to the time zone you're in) where the kids can get out after mom puts their costume on, just after dinner... and getting home in time so you can stuff your mouth with as many candies before the 'rents kick yer ass to bed w/o the rest of the candies you can't get down to your stomach. Candy is only good in the mouth really anyway, except Snickers I guess. Man, all that effort we went to for 2 hours of coolness. We had a projector looping videos from the TOOL DVD, Quake soundtrack (an ambient haunting music used in a video game) playing in the background, a fog machine, fan blowing leaves, and a strobe light to boot. Apparently it was worth it, a few parents got scared, most commented on the coolness, and all those "I'm dressed up as a school kid" punks didn't get any freakn' candy. We put effort in, why the fuck can't you? Ah well, as the great Dennis Miller says all too often, in a sarcastic moment... "not to get off on a rant here." I guess I should have said that at the beginning.

Have you ever had a large culmination of thoughts come together at one time, and you can slowly feel them all falling into place. This feels like a pre-epiphany. Everything I look at lately, I’m seeing the subtleties of their chaos and order. Twisting my mind and perception around the things which make life interesting, and finding their reason and purpose, only to demystify what I once thought was interesting. It is all losing cohesion, and I’m not sure where all of the droplets will lay after all this is done. These nightmares, thumb twitches, mini-epiphanies on a daily occurrence, are all pulling the fabric apart like the crotch worn jeans. Have you ever listened to a fan whirr and slowly fade in and out from understanding its purpose for being in this world? Have you listened to the patterned rotation vibrating at every circulation, with the odd hiccup when it is influenced by something else, sending that previous order into a new state?

Ok, this bloggn' is just a props update. Things i've added to the site, services I now use, and stuff like that. First off Blogger, check it out at blogger.com its sweet ass shit. Linked off of blogger, they suggested to use Atomz for searching my site, very nice _AHEM_ FREEEEEE service from them for indexing/searching a website... producing reports on errors and what not... again, sweet ass shit. So now i have search, and this blog post too... in addition to the rest of the crap on here. You can figure out how to reach me, if you wanna.

In my (recent) past, at least in text, I have been noted for being quite articulate with getting across what I am trying to mean. Now, I have something which requires near perfect articulation and my mind can't twist the words in my thoughts favour. In brief, my problem is equations; I'm finding the ability to see equations (not mathematically, but just in the way things happen) in everything around life. They say that once you learn how something is done, its mysticism is lost, and the value of its entertainment is diminished. How you first see that stupid thumb trick a grandfather does... and it looks like his thumb was yanked off his hand, and some how put back... then when you realize how it is done... its so freakn' stupid. -- when I figure out a better way to explain the entirety of this, maybe then I'll write it all out here.

Epitaph sends me funny shit a lot. ICQ is the usual method for recieving the hilarity.

"Well how is this for a coincidence: last week in NY 3 sisters each had a baby on the same day at the same hospital. Though it should be noted the 3 women were in different hospitals, they are not sisters and they didn't have babies. Also they were 2 guys."
"Still kind of a coincidence if you think about it..."
[updated] Epitaph: hahah.. you should really prefix it with, "This is from SNL's Weekend Update when Norm MacDonald was the anchor... "

Well, another late night for me. I'm sure you'll all see me online again late, and begging for coffee in the AM. I'm setting up some X10 software on my linux box so we can remotely turn on and off lights/fans and turn up/down thermometers in our house. Pretty sweet shit! Also, Paola (cate) owes me HUGE because i'm fixn' her buddy's (?) computer... why can't things just work the way they're supposed to?